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ICE CAVE OF THE WAMPA

We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?

TRUTH BE TOLD: We collect Star Wars toys.  We can admit it.  We’re not about to become a collecting blog, but we’ll talk about it every now and then.

It’s hard to believe that Hasbro’s design department has been such a wellspring of amazing sculpts and decos.  The 2008-2009 Legacy Collection has showcased some fine examples, my favorites including Snowspeeder Pilot Luke, Zuckuss, the 2-or-4 armed (you decide!) General Grievous, and the entire Resurgence of the Jedi battle pack, to name a few.

And while the Legacy Collection is going softly into that good night with their Build-A-Droid pack-in, Hasbro showed us the future at Toy Fair.  Here is a link to the excellent Rebelscum Toy Fair report with galleries, where you can ogle everything to come.   The future to come is the vintage collection.  If you’ve had any interest in Star Wars Figures over the last few years, you’d know that Hasbro has saved some of the best sculpts of original trilogy figures for the reoccurring Vintage Collection.   Though now, everything will get this premium treatment.  No pack-ins will be included, but the figures will all be packaged on 70’s-80’s style cardbacks.  Even prequel trilogy figures will be packaged on the old-school style cardbacks, so Hasbro is using the ‘vintage’ term rather loosely.

Additionally, Hasbro will also be staying away from expanded-universe characters (Trioculus* never stood a chance.), but don’t put it by Hasbro to give us some previously unknown astrodroid repaint, which I will still shamelessly buy.

Though, we think there ought to be some outside chance that Hasbro can muster the effort to look into some figures that are not entirely EU, but not entirely film-level canon.  Additionally, Hasbro has already produced some figures of the core heros in outfits or situations that were extremely brief in terms of screen time, but at the same time other vital versions of key characters have yet to be done.  Since we’re so damn opinionated, we think there are still some golden nuggets waiting to be found.  So with that in mind, here are some figures we’d like Hasbro to produce:

First up would be a figure based on this splendorific illustration.  Chris Trevas created this awesome image for the Topps Star Wars Galaxy Series Four trading cards. Check out his spiffy spacesuit.  If Hasbro would give him a removable helmet, a spice container, and a blaster, wouldn’t that be nice?

Why should Hasbro do it? Even Han Solo gets boarded, so Han dumps his cargo of spice while Chewbacca evades imperial forces.  The implications of this moment will chase Han throughout A New Hope all the way through Return of the Jedi.

Second would be a figure of Luke based off this rarely seen 1970’s publicity photo.  It’s the same outfit he wore at the end of A New Hope, minus the yellow jacket.

Why should Hasbro do it? It’d give Hasbro another Luke to put into the rotation, not to mention give kids a sweet idea of what Luke wore before the Rebellion packed up and moved to Hoth.  Obviously, the Lightsaber and blaster would be crucial accessories to include, but on an interesting note, Luke carries the same blaster used by Leia on the Tantive IV both in this photo and during the ceremony scene in A New Hope.  To the delight of collectors, Hasbro suddenly has an amazing knack for sculpting Mark Hamill’s portrait.  Would it not be another prime opportunity to make a beautiful figure?  Hasbro, you dawgs.

Third is R2-D2 when he went to Dagobah.  He had such a great time on Dagobah.  He fell into that damn scummy swamp pond, got swallowed by a dragonsnake, got projectile-barfed up by the dragonsnake, barfed up some mud on his own, and then was briefly antagonized by Yoda.  When Luke and Yoda hung out in Yoda’s hut, R2-D2 couldn’t fit in the Yoda-sized door, so he had to stay out in the rain.  I had a similar experience on a road trip with my then-girlfriend in 2003.  Nobody comes out ahead in Empire Strikes Back.  Not even a single Tauntaun.  Actually, for those of you keeping score, Boba Fett captures Han and earlier, Wedge (along with his gunner) take down an AT-AT.  That’s it.

Why should Hasbro do it? Hasbro has made good progress on R2-D2 figures, especially since they realized we don’t need vacuum-metalized chrome domes on R2 to have fun.  Also, now would be a great time for Hasbro to flex their paint-application muscle.  The Saga version of the figure didn’t look so muddy as chocolately.  Use the Revenge of the Sith-preview R4-G9 mold, paint R2 to look really muddy, even paint on the mud R2 barfed, and our hearts will follow.  Maybe pack him with some of the camp equipment.  Man, Dagobah sucks.  And that’s why it’s a great place to hide out from the Empire.

Fourth is the spirit of Ben Kenobi.  When Ben reappears to Luke on Hoth, its spine-chilling, by George!  Spine-chilling!  He reappears to Luke again on Dagobah in ESB and then again in Return of the Jedi.  He’s all shimmery and transparent while in this spirit form.  He learned how to become a spirit from Qui-Gon Jinn, who we never see as a spirit.  It’s partially what he was up to while living in exile on Tatooine.

Why should Hasbro do it? Man, Hasbro has some great folks working for them, and it would be nice to see how Hasbro accomplishes this figure this time around.  The first spirit Obi-Wan figure was a non-pose-able blue figure that was a mail-away from Lay’s potato chips.  Hasbro did this figure again in the Saga line, but the new Ben Kenobi sculpt is sure purdy.  The previous spirit figure was Anakin in the 30th Anniversary Collection and looked rather nice.  It would be eventually nice to have spirit versions of Anakin, Yoda, and Ben that have been tackled using the same aesthetical approach.  The ball ought to be in Hasbro’s court on this one.  He doesn’t need a lightsaber or any accessories because he’s a ghost.

Would it not be awesome to have Ben’s spirit to appear now and then to give you advice?  If not to proof read your cover letters?

Fifth, and finally, is a Boba Fett figure.  It is a rule that YOU HAVE TO LIKE BOBA FETT IF YOU LIKE STAR WARS.  No exceptions.  Jango Fett is nice and all, but Boba Fett wears the armor better.  What would make this version of Boba different is the serape!  Yes, a serape!  We could really dig the Empire Strikes Back accurate Boba Fett costume paired with the serape as it was shown in the concept art.  ‘Serape’ is a fun word to say!

Why should Hasbro do it? You have to like Boba Fett.  There are two great hyper-accurate Boba sculpts out there: the first Vintage Collection version based on ROTJ and the ESB version from the Fett Evolutions set.  Hasbro also made a Boba figure from his first appearance in the Holiday Special cartoon.  It’s safe to say that we have most of our Boba Fett versions down pat.  Though we will always want more.  The serape on these figures has been pre-styled to drape back over his shoulder, though the concept art shows that intention was to drape it around his shoulder to look very Clint Eastwood-like in Fistful of Dollars.  What would be great is to do a kit-bash of both the first Vintage Collection and the Evolutions Bobas.  Mostly because the rangefinder doesn’t swivel on the Evolutions Boba, and because if we can go all those years without knowing what Boba Fett’s face looked like, we can do one more figure without that seeing his face**.  Most importantly, we get to savor that original spaghetti-western facet to the Boba Fett character.  Wah–weh-weh-wah! Wah woh woh!***

Now to take a hot shower after all this nerdness.

* If you know who Trioculus is, you know why there will never, ever be a figure based on him.

** Not to knock the fact that he is a Jango clone.

*** You know, the Ennio Moriconne theme from the Fistful of Dollars?

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